Well, I never. We are still at war. Brave American men and women and innocent Iraqis are still dying. New torture allegations keep pouring out. And the deadline given by a federal judge for an illegally imprisoned man named Jose Padilla to be charged or released has passed. But you wouldn’t know it from the papers. Oh, gee, but apparently Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton are having a tiff. Sorry, guess I don’t watch the right kind of television, but who are these people?
Thanks press. Now maybe you can tell me how celebrity gossip helps me fulfill my civic responsibilities as a citizen of a democracy?
Wait, stop laughing. That’s not funny…
When it comes to teaching young people how to manage risk in their lives, only one thing is 100% effective: abstain from the risky behavior. This is the morally sound theory behind the sex education website of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (AP, 4/1/05). The federal government has recently begun to apply this approach to driver safety as well.
“Parents have a tremendous amount of influence on their children,” said Health and Human Services secretary Michael Leavitt, “and we want them to talk with their teens about abstaining from driving so they can stay safe and healthy.” The department’s new web site emphasizes the unreliability of safety practices such as wearing seatbelts, reducing speed in hazardous conditions, and obeying traffic laws. According to Leavitt, “The only 100% reliable way of keeping your child safe is making sure he doesn’t get into that car in the first place.”
According to critics, promoting abstinence does not go far enough, and the government should also promote traffic safety for teenagers who do drive. “Telling teenagers that road safety measures are ineffective is going to backfire,” say snarky liberal perverts, “it just encourages them to drive recklessly.”
“They’ve always opposed us on the issue of abstinence. That’s fine,” said Health and Human Services official Bill Pierce. “One thing we do know about abstinence is that if you practice it, you will not have a traffic accident and risk death or serious injury.”
